So there I am, walking in the door having just gotten home from a 9 hour day at the office and a 1 hour commute. The usual excitement happens - Buddy runs up and says, "Hi Daddy. I wuv you." Furry Beast (black lab) runs up with her tail wagging and practically knocking me over in her excitement to see me. And the Little Woman greets me adoringly with, "Hi Honey. How was your day? You look tired. Let me take your coat and get you a drink." I smile and breathe a sigh of relief, glad to be home with my loving family. Basking in this idyllic glow, I hear my beautiful bride say, "You'll never guess who Buddy said he's going to marry." I smile, and say, "You, right?" She responds with, "No, I've been replaced. He's going to marry Dragon. He loves her."
Scccrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeccccccchhhhhhhhhhhh
I open my eyes and reality sets in - toys on the floor, shoes everywhere, Buddy crawling into his castle, Furry Beast licking herself, my coat on the floor, and no drink in sight. I look at the Little Woman and say, "What?"
Apparently, he is Sir Knight and Furry Beast is Dragon. He loves her and wants to marry her. I think to myself, why can't he just want to marry his mother like normal 4 year-olds, or even the older woman two doors down (she's 6)? It turns out that he watched Shrek 4 the other day with friends, and Donkey apparently married Dragon (haven't seen it yet) because Donkey loves Dragon. Well, since Buddy loves Furry Beast, . . . there's a correlation there somewhere. Trust me, I know this is all part of being a 4-year old and having an active imagination. Buuuuuuutttttt . . .
Then there's the whole wearing Mommy's heels and necklaces. And then the other day, he apparently said he wanted his toenails painted pink. Now, he's had his toenails painted gun metal gray, cold iron blue, OD green and other appropriate colors before, but PINK? I mean really now. I've gotta draw the line somewhere. I find myself thinking, "Maybe I should take him on a tour of a steel mill, take him hunting, or take him to a frat party or car show. Definitely time to get him an official Red Ryder 200-shot carbine action range model air rifle."
All of this flashed through my lightning quick mind (even without the lubrication of a pre-dinner drink) in the blink of an eye. I looked over at my Little Buddy and saw him running at me with his arms wide open. I caught him just as he leapt into my lap and said, "Daddy, I want to hunt wif you." I thought, "Eh, who cares if he wants to marry Dragon, wears necklaces, and wants his toenails painted. As long as someone else pays for the rehearsal dinner, and he learns to make sure his nails don't clash with camo in the woods, it doesn't really matter."
Now, if the Little Woman would just bring me that drink.
if you want the drink, then there will be no supper ready.
ReplyDeleteHey don't worry about most of that...my boys have had their toe nails painted(by my sister not me!).. have run through the house wearing my shoes, have been known to wear the girls to-tos on their heads while doing Indian war cries, have played with dolls(most of the dolls lived to see the next day)and have even asked to have a princes band aid for an ouchie(that only happened once and i don't think it will happen again since the girls teased him about it!) I have girls that want to be Cub Scouts, that want to go camping and hunting and fishing...I had one of the girls proclaim the other day that next week she wants to become a boy(a little scared about that one!).
ReplyDeleteKids will be kids and that is the end of it....and about the drink you wanted... I think Heather already drank it on you!!!!